Do you remember how it felt to slide down a slide as a child? How much fun it was to bounce on a trampoline and how exciting it was to climb a tree? You probably didn’t think about how you looked or whether you were moving correctly and efficiently.
At some point during youth, our attention shifts to how our bodies look, what others think of us, and how we compare to others. We begin to view the body as an object that needs to be modified, and at the same time, our experiential connection to our own body often weakens. We are not present in our body.
Rules created by our minds
Anyone can experience appearance-related pressures, and it is known that heavy use of social media is associated with appearance pressures, especially among young women (Åberg & Kukkonen, 2020). Images shared on social media create opportunities for comparison with others. However, social media cannot be blamed for all of our appearance pressures; underlying factors also include everyday interactions and a variety of experiences that have influenced self-esteem and self-image over the course of life.
For example, a mean comment about your appearance from a classmate or acquaintance can linger in your mind for a long time. Even well-intentioned advice and guidance about nutrition and exercise can create pressure and be perceived in your mind as commands, rules, or criticism. Physical activity turns from something enjoyable into a goal-oriented, measurable, and comparable performance. What we eat may be governed more by the rules our mind creates than by the body’s signals of hunger and fullness.
“The approval of others and belonging to a group are basic human needs, and it is difficult not to think about what others think of us. However, it is possible to reduce excessive worrying and the anxiety associated with it.”
Thinking about appearance and comparing ourselves to others is very human. After all, our outward appearance is often the first thing others notice and the basis on which they form a first impression or opinion of us. Being accepted by others and belonging to a group are basic human needs, and it is difficult not to think about what others think of us. However, excessive rumination and the anxiety associated with it. One way is to reconnect with your body through experience. This does not eliminate the desire to look good, but it can help us find a gentler attitude towards our own bodies and realize that the body is much more than just a shell.
The body-mind connection
In addition to our physiological needs, such as hunger and fatigue, our emotions are also felt in the body. Recognizing and appropriately regulating bodily sensations, emotions, and needs also has a significant impact on our mental well-being.
Connecting with your body helps you pause in the moment, calm down, create a sense of safety, and experience pleasure. For example, you may naturally take deep, calm breaths when you want to relax, or hug a friend when you want to comfort them. Calm breathing and gentle touch activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which triggers recovery in both body and mind.
A good way to strengthen the connection between body and mind is through forms of exercise that focus on this, such as yoga and tai chi, which involve meditative, mindful movements while sensing the body. You can also learn to observe bodily sensations during everyday activities. While walking, you can notice the sensations in your feet and which parts of your soles touch the ground at any given moment. When preparing food, you can focus on feeling the movements of your hands and tactile sensations, and perhaps also notice other senses, such as the smell of the food and the appetite it stimulates.
If you want to discuss the topic with a professional, Heltti employs several therapists who specialize in body, food, and exercise relationships.
You can also strengthen your connection with your body through small, simple exercises. Give it a try right now!
Pick up the exercises here
How to strengthen the connection between body and mind?
1. Bringing attention to bodily sensations
- Get into a comfortable sitting or standing position. Take a few calm breaths, then notice which parts of your body are in contact with the surface you are sitting or standing on. Feel how the floor, chair, or other surface supports your body weight.
- Focus your attention on the sensations in your body—what pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral sensations do you notice in different parts of your body? Observe these sensations for a moment.
- Then shift your attention to your surroundings. Observe the objects or things you see around you for a moment.
- Return your attention to the sensations in your body. You can switch your attention between your body and your surroundings a few times. You may notice which of the two feels more natural for you to focus your observation on.
2. Listening to your body’s messages
- Bring your attention to an uncomfortable sensation in your body, such as a feeling of tension or tightness.
- Take a moment to think about that feeling. Notice how your mind may try to solve the problem or worry about it.
- Take a moment to feel that sensation in your body. Notice the details of the sensation and what kind of movement your body wants to make. Feel what kind of movement intensifies the sensation and what kind alleviates it. The sensation may change, but you don’t need to try to change it.
Exercises adapted from Christine Caldwell (2018) Bodyfulness – Somatic Practices for Presence, Empowerment, and Waking Up in This Life
About the author of this article
I am Minna Nevala, and I work as a psychologist providing short-term therapy at Heltti. I have expertise in, among other things, self-criticism, performance pressure, stress management, and challenges related to well-being and endurance.