Have you ever wondered why conversations about your grandparents’ youth feel like stories from another planet? Or why young adults’ enthusiasm for social media and constant networking feels foreign to you? We grow and are shaped by the currents of our time, and when life paths intersect across different eras, building understanding can sometimes feel challenging.
Dr. Katri Kanninen, psychologist at Heltti, explores this phenomenon in her Terapiassa (In Therapy) podcast. One of the underlying reasons can be found in the brain’s natural tendency toward energy efficiency. Our brains prefer situations that feel familiar and effortless. Because of this, we often gravitate toward people who share similar interests, life experiences, and age.
However, this tendency to form groups can create “separate worlds,” boundaries that can sometimes be difficult to cross. This can easily lead to generalizations and even suspicion toward those who represent different kinds of life experiences.
Another important factor is the human developmental trajectory and the perspectives it brings. A child’s world naturally revolves around themselves. And while many of us grow and learn to appreciate differences, this development is not self-evident for everyone. Our early experiences of whether the world is fundamentally a safe and trustworthy place also shape how openly we approach diversity. Sometimes an insecure or unsafe childhood can lead to withdrawal and caution toward others.
Different generations have also lived through significantly different historical and societal changes. The technological revolution has transformed the lives of younger generations in ways that older generations have never experienced. Political and economic crises, cultural shifts, and changing values all leave their mark on each generation’s mindset and worldview. For example, the strong appreciation for safety and stability held by generations who lived through war may feel distant to those who have grown up in today’s rapidly changing world.
How can we build bridges between generations?
Instead of letting the assumptions and surface-level observations guide our relationships with people from other generations, we can make a conscious effort to understand them more deeply.
Pick up the tips from here
Tips for increasing understanding:
1. Show genuine interest and listen actively:
Try to listen to a representative of another generation with an open mind and show genuine interest in their experiences and perspectives. Ask questions that encourage them to share more. For a moment, set aside your own assumptions and let the other person’s voice be heard. Remember that every individual is unique, and generalizations about a generation rarely apply completely.
2. Activate your empathic side:
Try to put yourself in another person’s shoes and imagine what their life has been like and what kind of world they grew up in. When you understand their background, it becomes easier to understand their thoughts and reactions. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with all of their views, but it can help you see them in a new light.
3. Challenge your own stereotypes:
We all have unconscious or conscious preconceptions about different generations. Try to recognize your own stereotypes and question them. Is it really true that “all young people…” or “all old people…”? Remember that human beings are complex and diverse, and they do not easily fit into ready-made molds. For example, you can list people of different ages that you know and notice how much they differ from each other.
4. Seek interaction and engage with respect:
Seek out actively the company of people from different generations. Participate in shared activities, discussions, and events. Be mindful of potential cultural differences between generations and strive to communicate respectfully. Avoid offensive language or belittling the lifestyle of another generation. Courtesy and an open mind create the foundation for genuine interaction.
5. Continuous learning and openness to new perspectives:
The world is constantly changing, and each generation has its own unique experiences and insights. Be open to learning new things from people of different ages. Read, listen to podcasts, participate in discussions, and reflect on your own thoughts in relation to others’ perspectives. Curiosity keeps the mind active and helps us see things from new angles.
The cost of misunderstanding and the power of connection
When we don’t make an effort to understand other generations, we can lose a lot. Loneliness can creep into life, valuable life wisdom goes unshared, and the sense of belonging can weaken. Young adults, in particular, may struggle with their identity if they lack a connection to their roots and family history.
Connection with other people, both of the same and different ages, is vital for our mental health and well-being.
On the other hand, when we build bridges between generations, our lives are enriched in many ways. We gain new perspectives, learn empathy and tolerance, and feel part of a larger community. Connection with other people, both of the same and different ages, is vital for our mental health and well-being. Research shows that social support and a sense of belonging are linked to better physical and mental health, as well as longer life.
Are you ready to build connection?
Sometimes the generational differences in your own life can feel overwhelming and cause you anxiety, frustration, or loneliness. It is important to remember that you are not alone. These feelings are natural and understandable.
If you feel that the generational gap is weighing on you too heavily, don’t hesitate to seek support. With a therapist, you can explore your feelings and thoughts on the matter in a safe environment. Together, you can discover new perspectives and ways to build understanding and connection with your loved ones. Feel free to contact our therapy center and schedule a consultation. The journey toward better understanding often begins with a small step.
About the author of this article
Katri Kanninen is a doctor of psychology, experienced psychotherapist, training psychotherapist (CAT), and non-fiction writer.